my best friend has asked me to be her date for a v. formal event, and now i have to look for a beautiful formal dress that doesn’t look like a grad dress.
i’m thinking i want to channel my inner nikita-on-a-mission-at-a-party-hosted-by-the-president, and have endeavored to online shop, BUT i don’t know where to start. so what i’m asking is if anyone would be so kind as to send me in the right direction.
who wants to help a sister to look like a fierce bitch for a night?
Anyone who knows me knows that I am the most emotional human being, ever. In high school, after things with my dad happened, I thought I could put that part of my personality to rest. I believed that if I acted tough, or if I ignored my feelings that they would actually go away. And, for a while, I believed that I had conquered my tearful. sensitive feelings. I really believed that I had created a stronghold on my emotions and had turned into the ice queen. Of course, that was a huge lie.
The older I get, the more I realize that it was such a waste of time for me. Why would I ever want to try and hide the biggest part of my personality? Of course sometimes, even now, I feel like I wish I could have a grip on my emotions. I wish that I didn’t cry whenever something bothers me…I wish that I could express myself without getting a wobbly lip, or quaver in my voice. Of course I wish that I didn’t go from 0-100 in .0001 seconds, and for the most part I have, along with acknowledging that emotionality is an enormous component of what makes me ME, learned how to direct my emotions and reactions to certain triggers. One thing I haven’t learned, though, is how to balance feeling and acting on the feelings.
That’s not to say that I fly off the handle at everything, because that’s not true. I’m pretty composed. I like to think that I’m rational…that I think things through, and I’m sure my friends would say that I’m even a little bit neurotic when it comes to making snap decisions. What I mean is that when things get to be too much, or I haven’t deal with a series of things that bother me, there comes a time when I explode. I will cry and cry and whine about things that happened when I was 15 and god help you if you think the shit you said about my body at 15 is something I’ve forgotten.
Those moments when I lose control of my head and my emotions take over…those are the moments I wish I could control myself. But even writing that I feel like I should know better; I feel like I should know that in those moments, the purest, most sincere aspect of my personality is revealed. I shouldn’t have to be embarrassed, or uneasy, or frustrated by those moments. Quite the contrary. I should be thankful that I have the capacity to fully and truly express myself…even if that means crying and sobbing and generally sounding like a fool.
Growing up is hard. Growing into yourself is hard. Learning who you are is the trickiest part of growing up, because every single thing you encounter is a new test…a new experience that molds you into the person you already are, without you even knowing.
had the sudden urge to text my boyfriend and ask him what his “perfect” girl would be like. SELF DESTRUCTIVE THOUGHTS 2K14
I desperately want to get back in touch with my artistic side.
listening to celine dion all night sorry family you’re stuck with this soundtrack
I’ve drunk so much wine this past week I may have altered my genetic makeup